Welcome to my blog! This will be a place where I work through evolving ideas about therapy, about how people work and about personal transformation.
Self reflection
Self-reflection, Questions for Post-session
15 Sep 2018

It is important and useful to critically reflect on our practice regularly. This free download will really get your head and heart going as you reflect on a session with a client, especially if you are unsure of what just happened, or a theme is emerging in the work.
Here are some self-reflection questions for post-session....

Peacock feathers, multiplicity
Multiplicity II
12 Sep 2018

Multiplicity is experienced on a continuum. Some people have little felt sense of internal complexity, and at the other end of the spectrum we have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), where there is such a distance between parts that sometimes one part of the self does not know of the existence of other parts of self. Most of us are somewhere in the middle in our experience of multiple selves.
When stressed, some people are more likely to experience a disjuncture internally. For example, un...

Counselling Right-Left-Right-Left Brain
13 Jan 2017

In my last two posts: Good Therapy Using Right and Left Brain and How to Counsel Right Brain to Right Brain I introduced the idea that left and right matter when it comes to counselling. You need to know when it is the right time to take the client into their left brain, and when to use right brain approaches. Some people might use the words “gut” for right brain and “head” for right brain.
Responsive Counselling
Right brain-left brain responsiveness is a good way to increase your...

Grief and Loss: How to Have a Pity Party
13 Dec 2016

I think self-pity is underrated! If we do not feel pity for ourselves, then who will? Yes, of course people can make self-pity into a career (trust me, it doesn’t pay well!), but on the whole, many of us avoid feeling the pain of grief. We prefer to eat it away (guilty!), drink, gamble, talk, exercise or drug it away. Anything but face the grief, talk to the grief, walk around it and let it do its thing. A Pity Party is one way to give resolution to your grief.
In my previous blog post

Grief and Loss Counselling: 7 tips
25 Nov 2016

We grieve because we have had a loss: of a relationship, of hopes, of a life not lived…. Sometimes losses are more concrete: an engagement ring, a job or a home. So how do therapists “do” grief counselling?
I suspect there is no one answer, except that I believe that in many ways we need to “do” little. Here are 7 quick tips:

  • Name it as grief
  • Welcome the grief: deepen the process when needed
  • Be fully present: to your own and the client’s experi...